


Copycat

by things-we-used-tc-share (Heavydirtys0ul)



Series: the billie eilish tapes [22]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26213077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heavydirtys0ul/pseuds/things-we-used-tc-share
Summary: Roman doesn't want to be like Remus, but he has to at some point accept that there's a reason Logan loves them both.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: the billie eilish tapes [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1281875
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	Copycat

Roman is great at his job, creativity comes so naturally to him that it isn’t even something he has to think about. But everything he creates, Remus creates differently yet the same. His world is cracked and charred, full of anger and pain and...death. 

Roman does not understand why Logan loves them both, he understands that love is not co-ordinated and that it doesn’t make sense, but not how you can love two polar opposites as though they are the same. Especially as all that Remus is, is a mimicry of his own existence, gone terribly wrong. He tries to ask him about it once, but Logan just shrugs and gives him that calm expression he always wears “You both provide different assets that come with your personality, Remus, for example, is more critical than you are, whilst you are more reassuring, and my mood adapts to one or the other accordingly depending on what I require for that moment; you both also provide adequate perceptions in different varieties, which again is also very helpful.” 

He still didn’t really understand how anyone can love his brother, but he decided at that time it didn’t really matter. It’s not for him to understand why Logan loves Remus, just that he does and that he makes him as happy as he himself does. 

Today though is different. He stood on the boundary between his side of the imagination and Remus, the grass is burned like a wildfire had spread through it, stopping dead at the bright green of his own side. The moment he steps across he finds himself feeling cold and ill, like a terrible sickness was trying to prise its way through his body. He’d wanted desperately to understand his brother to some extent, but he just feels...scared, not just because this is what the inside of the other’s head is like, but because Logan loves that in him, and he isn’t sure what that says about the three of them as individuals and as people who relate to each other. 

Logan had said he’s different from Remus, and that it’s a good thing, but there’s still something strange about the fact that Roman and Remus make up a whole together, which means at some point their thoughts were each others. 

The inside of Roman’s head used to look like this too. 

He shivers and steps back into his own territory, turning his back on the nightmare and closing his eyes. Remus is not evil, he knows this, Remus has a purpose as any of them do, but it’s hard to look at the creations that were in some way his own and acknowledge that these are things that Logan loves in his brother. His chaos, his thoughts, his anger and frustration and panic, these are all things that make Remus who he is and Logan sees that and still loves him for it. 

Is that a good thing? He wonders to himself. Surely that Logan accepts the other man flaws and all is a positive thing, it means he cares for him regardless of the way he can react, or the lens in which he views the world. So why does it scare him? 

Roman steps forward and sighs, turning back to look at the broken trees and singed leaves, he decides that no it doesn’t scare him that Logan loves every asset that Remus has, it’s that maybe he and Remus are far too alike, a copycat of each other but skewered slightly left and right. 

Is that a good thing too? That they are alike? Is this why Logan loves them both? He sighs and closes his eyes, willing himself back to the general mindscape and falling onto his own bed, staring at the ceiling; he’d wanted desperately to understand Remus, to understand Logan’s love for them both, but he’d honestly only produced more questions for himself. 

He and Remus used to be a single entity, of this he knows for sure. They were a person with the ability to think as a one, then they’d split like a single sell dividing; meaning they both carried the same instructions as each other and those instructions were to create, to serve Thomas, to help each other. Without one there couldn’t be the other. 

There’s a knock at his door, interrupting his thoughts, and he quietly allows whoever is on the other side entry. Logan walks through, his eyebrows raising as he looked to his partner. “I can hear you thinking from the living room,” he mutters, sitting down on the edge of the bed “...are you all right?” 

“Just thinking,” Roman smiles but it’s a distracted smile, without his usual flourish of excitement. “Why do you love me?” 

“You’re an interesting person, we have good debates, I miss you when we’re not together, you make me think and feel more like a human being than just a function, and I enjoy your company whether it is quiet or filled with endless arguing.” He chuckles and lies down beside his lover “You keep me sane, you help me view the world through a lens that isn’t based entirely in facts and logic, and you help me overall be a better person.” 

Roman smiles and nods, pressing a quick kiss to Logan’s lips before he speaks again. “And why do you love Remus?” 

Logan hums quietly “He’s erratic, excitable and keeps life interesting, I never really know if he’s going to metaphorically go up or down and he keeps me on my toes, he also gives me a lot of purpose for Thomas, as I have the best handle on him, he also gives me a healthy amount of competition.” He pauses for a second “But mostly I think I just love both of you because you’re...you...and there’s no quantifiable reason or a series of facts or statements that can really explain why one loves another, simply that I love you because you exist and you are you, and him because he exists and he is him.” Roman sighs and nods. “Why?”

“I think me and Remus are more alike than I’m willing to acknowledge, and I don’t know if I want to be anything like him at all.” 

“That’s inevitable I’m afraid.” Logan gives a reassuring smile. “You and Remus will never be identical in personality, that would defeat the object of your existence, but you are certainly alike, you both feel an awful lot, you’re both impulsive and sometimes very much lacking in awareness for other people, both can be a little selfish, and you’re both good companies to keep, both bring good and terrible ideas to the table, you both love your jobs and even though Remus does not like to admit it...the people around you too; lastly, you are both creativity, and often actually good at it.”    
“You don’t think Remus is...scary?”

“Not at all, I think he’s amusing if anything, there’s not a single element of him that makes me intimidated by him.” He reaches a hand to Roman’s cheek, his thumb brushing against his skin “And there’s nothing scary about you at all, not to me or anyone else.” 

Finally, the other relaxes a little and nods, leaning up to kiss Logan sweetly. “You need to stop viewing yourself as a copy, and as a person of your own thoughts, feelings and desires.” The logical side utters quietly against his lips. 

“Right now I just desire you to kiss me.” Roman grins, their noses brushing against each other. 

“That is to be expected.” They press their lips together again, and the worries shrink a little, no longer as big or scary as Roman had first considered them to be a t all. Nothing is ever really scary in Logan’s hands, he supposes that’s why _he_ loves Logan.


End file.
